Financial abuse is using money to control another person. It can mean taking control of all the money, but it can also look like pressure, blame and impossible expectations. It's one of the main reasons people stay in abusive relationships: they can't see how they'd survive on their own.
Signs of financial abuse
- Blame for money problems, no matter whose decisions caused them.
- Pressure into big purchases or debt you know you can't afford.
- Demands to earn more, like taking a second or third job, while they refuse to contribute.
- Control of accounts, passwords or spending, or needing permission to buy things.
- Guilt about money, used as a weapon in arguments.
- Hiding money, running up debt in your name, or sabotaging your work.
What it looked like for me
We were living paycheque to paycheque, and I'd just lost my job, but I was still pushed into a bigger house we couldn't afford. Then I was told to get a second and third job to pay for it. Money problems were always my fault. More in My Story.
Getting free
- Find out where you stand: accounts, debts, what's in your name.
- If you can, open an account only you can access, and keep copies of important documents somewhere safe.
- Help lines can connect you with financial and legal support. See Get Help Now.
Tools that help with financial abuse
- 25 Secrets to Wealth Creation
- The Global Information Network (GIN)
- Self-Forgiveness
- Jason's Healing AI
Building awareness: Your Wish Is Your Command changed how I think about money and what I can create.
The principle behind the healing: Self-Responsibility: only I have the power to change what I accept and allow. See Principles for Living.
Shadow work: questions to journal
- What did I learn about money and worth growing up?
- When have I said yes to a money decision I knew was wrong? What was I afraid of?
- What's one small step toward financial independence I could take this month?
Owning your patterns never means owning their abuse.